The Truth About Swine Flu

Fear of the Swine Flu is sweeping the nations! Two schools in Adelaide have been closed down due to the Swine Flu, and since one is my school's 'brother school,' and another is just up the road from our school, teachers are predicting that we'll be the next to close down.

I am a year 12 student with an abundance of medical experience (5 days work experience at a hospital last year), I believe I should give my view on this pandemic, as I am a trained medical professional.

Swine Flu is a conspiracy. It was brought in by the Mexican Government due to a shortage of pigs among pig farmers. The Swine Flu was developed to evolve hobos into pigs, to solve the pig shortage in Mexico. Unfortunately, some of the hobos escaped into the countryside and spread the virus.


The Swine Flu starts off with Flu-like symptoms, such as diarrhoea, fever aching joints and feelings of lethargy. However, if the flu is left to develop for over a month and a half in a single person, it will develop into what it was designed for - to turn humans into pigs.

First, the individual's skin texture will begin to change. It will become slightly rough, hairy, and will adopt a pinkish tinge. They may even begin craving scraps, and find themselves rummaging through their own (or neighbours') rubbish bins. Then, the person's nose will begin to form into a snout. Though people think that their bones and muscles are aching due to flu-like symptoms, this is actually because their bone structures are changing into that of a swine. Eventually, their feet will shrink into hooves, and their posture will shift until they are walking on all fours.

These changes will continue until the person has completely morphed into a swine. Fortunately, medical professionals have been able to slow the process, and even though the final stages cannot be reversed, they can be prevented. If you have any of these symptoms, consult a medical professional immediately, before it's too late. Also, if you are diagnosed with Swine Flu, do not leave treatment too late, unless you want to be lying next to my eggs and toast on my breakfast plate in the morning.











Note from Ojaye to gullible readers: Yes, I take full credit for making this up and posting it, but for Gosh sake, don't use this in some sort of school report or something. Your teacher will give you an F. (Or an E, depending on what school you go to)
Note from Ojaye to sensitive readers: It was brought to my attention that some may be offended by this post. I'm really sorry if you've lost a loved one to the swine flu. Please don't take this blog too personally! =D

"If you're like me, it's possible you're a clone generated from my stolen DNA. I suggest you turn yourself in for destruction immediately." - Shaun Micallef

A silent obsession.

I LIKE TSHIRTS! I spend my life surfing da interwebz for funny tshirts. I own some, like "I do all my own stunts" and "iPope"

Today I had an urge to write a blog. A hunger that could not be satisfied simply by using Myspace, Twitter or Facebook. After surfing the internet for a while, I scrolled through my bookmarks and once again came across a site that I visit fairly often.

SNORGTEES!

One day, I'm going to win the lottery, and buy every tshirt on that page, plus any others from the t-shirt bookmark pages I have.
Here are some shirts I'd like to share, because I can.

"Smoking. It has been found that twenty-five thousand people die each day from smoking-related illnesses. But scientists have now proved conclusively that this number would be halved if divided by two."- Shaun Micallef

Fantastic Food Adventures!

MY DAD IS ASIAN. He's from Singapore. This means my family is obsessed with food. Almost every long weekend that pops up, my family and some Singaporean family friends travel about six hours (driving) to Melbourne.


Why?


To eat.



YES. I KNOW. Everyone I speak to thinks I'm insane, but that's the way my family works. We eat SO MUCH when we're there. A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT. I took a photo of all the stuff (or most of it) I ate while I was there. Keep in mind this is about three days worth of food.

Place: ABC CAFE
Dish: Popia, Tea and Orange Juice

This is sort of like the Vietnamese Cold Rolls, except a Singaporean/Malaysian version. I fell in LOVE WITH THIS DISH. It's SO DELICIOUS! It has a peanut-y taste, and even though it looks like it's going to fall apart, it didn't! YES. GOD-LIKE FOOD. Apparently the rest of the food at this cafe wasn't good, but, in my opinion, it's worth going, just to get this popia!

Place: Singapore Chom Chom (In the city, Bourke St, I think.)
Dish: Nasi Lemak, Chwee Kway, Kickapoo Joy Juice and Tea. (Background - Con lo mi aka Dry Wonton Noodles)

I'll just say this: SCC is heaven. "If heaven's all we want it to be, send your prayers to me, care of..." SCC. I LOVE THIS FOOD. Actually, SCC is the reason we keep going back to Melbourne. I would live on Nasi Lemak if I could, it's so delicious. This one in particular has really hot sambal with it, so I always end up giving it to dad.


Behind the nasi lemak is chwee kway. I've never eaten this anywhere other than at this place. Apparently one of our family friends can make it (I should bribe them) but I've never eaten it anywhere else. ANOTHER DELICIOUS MEAL. Kickapoo Joy Juice is good too. Can't get it in Adelaide... yet.





Place: Gelatissimo
Dish: Gelato - Chocolate and Blood Orange


I went here at about 11pm in the evening in the middle of Melbourne City. I know the flavours don't sound good together, but after eating heaps of sweet things during the day, the fruity orange flavour kind of balanced it out. It tasted good.




















Place: Hill's BBQ, Box Hill

Dish: Con Lo Mi, Duck, chicken and a glass of water.

I ALWAYS have Con lo mi from this place. I love it. I love the lettuce they put under the noodles, they taste really good because they're soaked in the sauce.

But, the real STAR of this place is the DUCK. I had a bit of chicken, but not much, because I was OBSESSED with their duck! IT'S THE BEST DUCK I HAVE EVER TASTED. I absolutely LOVE duck, but I never knew it could taste this good.
Oh God, I'm craving it now.


Place: Nasi Lemak House
Dish: Nasi Lemak

Thank you, Captain Obvious. Of course there's nasi lemak at the nasi lemak house. I love nasi lemak!! This place is always full, so we got take away and took it back to the hotel. Since I had to share it with my dad (doom!) I didn't eat much more than that (see left image) but since I was still full from the 50,000 other meals I ate that day, I didn't mind TOO much...





Place: Bread Top, Box Hill
Dish: Various yummy things.

I didn't end up eating it all, because I brought it back to Adelaide... and then just left it to go off. I bought all this stuff when I was really hungry, which explains why there's so much. I bought this just before my Hill's BBQ duck meal <3 href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidYg3FUqLXvRr-4z7Zqdo-VDhjLc4vx4LnsCpM1zBzhNDidwX7xdu-_XCbUXX0J8lhhwNyJ1pulEKy76KpPVwfmqafcNYlwRt1hVDzhhcvOJkFxefjHl3pa4qpSGRzNz6zsMqQwSzRiA/s1600-h/NORSIASkitchen_after.jpg">

Place: Norsiah's Kitchen
Dish: Nasi Lemak, Muturbak

This small, unnoticed piece of paradise is right next to a student campus or student apartment block or something, which makes it CHEAP... AND if you show your student card, you get 10% off, so it becomes CHEAPER. JOY TO ME. The food there is authentic and delicious. Their nasi lemak is GOD-LIKE. Actually, now that I think about it, it might even be BETTER than Singapore Chom Chom. We are regulars at this place, and the people that work there know my dad now, even though they only see him every long weekend. The blurry-beyond-recognition picture was meant to be a picture of the resturaunt. I only realised I didn't have a photo as we were driving past the place, so I quickly grabbed my phone and attempted to snap a photo as we drove past. Unfortunately, the best I could get is the one you see above. The random light on the right hand side is Norsiah's Kitchen. All this food talk is making me hungry.

And finally - I didn't eat these - but in a past blog (also about food,) Donna commented me and mentioned that she used to LOVE these little fruit lollies known as "runts"

She said she wasn't sure whether they sold them anymore, and I can safely say they do. As you can see in the picture on the left, I FOUND THEM! Except, to eat them, you need to go to Box Hill in Melbourne, and find this candy machine.
I got a bit excited when I saw them, ("DONNA LIKES THESE!") and got a lot of weird looks from passers-by as I took a photo of them on my phone.

“I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything.” - Demetri Martin