Bwana, the Great White Fly Hunter

Dear flies that have been bugging me all day,

STAY ON YOUR SIDE OF THE ROOM! You should appreciate that I'm letting you live! I hate you! I'm trying to study, LEAVE ME ALONE OR I'LL GET THE SPRAY.

Love, Ojaye.

P.S. Send a message to all your spider friends to stay out of my shower too. They're creeping me out with their perverted arachnid-y ways.

"But although I don’t go out of my way to bother living things, I am not without personal standards. A mosquito on my arm, an ant or a cockroach in my kitchen, a moth approaching my lapel; these animals will die. Other insects in my home, however, the ones who merely wish to rest awhile, will be left alone. Or, if noisy and rowdy, lifted gently and returned to the great outdoors.


I am also perfectly willing to share the room with a fly, as long as he is patrolling the portion of the room that I don’t occupy. But if he starts that smart-ass fly shit, buzzing my head and repeatedly landing on my arm, he is engaging in high-risk behavior. That’s when I roll up the sports section and become Bwana, the great white fly hunter!

Sometimes there’s an older fly in the room, one who flies slowly and can’t travel too far in one hop – or it might be a female, heavy with eggs. In this case, even if the fly is bothering me, I don’t kill it; instead, I adopt it as a short-term pet. I might even give it a name. Probably something based on mythology." - George Carlin, comedy genius.