The Truth About Swine Flu

Fear of the Swine Flu is sweeping the nations! Two schools in Adelaide have been closed down due to the Swine Flu, and since one is my school's 'brother school,' and another is just up the road from our school, teachers are predicting that we'll be the next to close down.

I am a year 12 student with an abundance of medical experience (5 days work experience at a hospital last year), I believe I should give my view on this pandemic, as I am a trained medical professional.

Swine Flu is a conspiracy. It was brought in by the Mexican Government due to a shortage of pigs among pig farmers. The Swine Flu was developed to evolve hobos into pigs, to solve the pig shortage in Mexico. Unfortunately, some of the hobos escaped into the countryside and spread the virus.


The Swine Flu starts off with Flu-like symptoms, such as diarrhoea, fever aching joints and feelings of lethargy. However, if the flu is left to develop for over a month and a half in a single person, it will develop into what it was designed for - to turn humans into pigs.

First, the individual's skin texture will begin to change. It will become slightly rough, hairy, and will adopt a pinkish tinge. They may even begin craving scraps, and find themselves rummaging through their own (or neighbours') rubbish bins. Then, the person's nose will begin to form into a snout. Though people think that their bones and muscles are aching due to flu-like symptoms, this is actually because their bone structures are changing into that of a swine. Eventually, their feet will shrink into hooves, and their posture will shift until they are walking on all fours.

These changes will continue until the person has completely morphed into a swine. Fortunately, medical professionals have been able to slow the process, and even though the final stages cannot be reversed, they can be prevented. If you have any of these symptoms, consult a medical professional immediately, before it's too late. Also, if you are diagnosed with Swine Flu, do not leave treatment too late, unless you want to be lying next to my eggs and toast on my breakfast plate in the morning.











Note from Ojaye to gullible readers: Yes, I take full credit for making this up and posting it, but for Gosh sake, don't use this in some sort of school report or something. Your teacher will give you an F. (Or an E, depending on what school you go to)
Note from Ojaye to sensitive readers: It was brought to my attention that some may be offended by this post. I'm really sorry if you've lost a loved one to the swine flu. Please don't take this blog too personally! =D

"If you're like me, it's possible you're a clone generated from my stolen DNA. I suggest you turn yourself in for destruction immediately." - Shaun Micallef

A silent obsession.

I LIKE TSHIRTS! I spend my life surfing da interwebz for funny tshirts. I own some, like "I do all my own stunts" and "iPope"

Today I had an urge to write a blog. A hunger that could not be satisfied simply by using Myspace, Twitter or Facebook. After surfing the internet for a while, I scrolled through my bookmarks and once again came across a site that I visit fairly often.

SNORGTEES!

One day, I'm going to win the lottery, and buy every tshirt on that page, plus any others from the t-shirt bookmark pages I have.
Here are some shirts I'd like to share, because I can.

"Smoking. It has been found that twenty-five thousand people die each day from smoking-related illnesses. But scientists have now proved conclusively that this number would be halved if divided by two."- Shaun Micallef

Fantastic Food Adventures!

MY DAD IS ASIAN. He's from Singapore. This means my family is obsessed with food. Almost every long weekend that pops up, my family and some Singaporean family friends travel about six hours (driving) to Melbourne.


Why?


To eat.



YES. I KNOW. Everyone I speak to thinks I'm insane, but that's the way my family works. We eat SO MUCH when we're there. A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT. I took a photo of all the stuff (or most of it) I ate while I was there. Keep in mind this is about three days worth of food.

Place: ABC CAFE
Dish: Popia, Tea and Orange Juice

This is sort of like the Vietnamese Cold Rolls, except a Singaporean/Malaysian version. I fell in LOVE WITH THIS DISH. It's SO DELICIOUS! It has a peanut-y taste, and even though it looks like it's going to fall apart, it didn't! YES. GOD-LIKE FOOD. Apparently the rest of the food at this cafe wasn't good, but, in my opinion, it's worth going, just to get this popia!

Place: Singapore Chom Chom (In the city, Bourke St, I think.)
Dish: Nasi Lemak, Chwee Kway, Kickapoo Joy Juice and Tea. (Background - Con lo mi aka Dry Wonton Noodles)

I'll just say this: SCC is heaven. "If heaven's all we want it to be, send your prayers to me, care of..." SCC. I LOVE THIS FOOD. Actually, SCC is the reason we keep going back to Melbourne. I would live on Nasi Lemak if I could, it's so delicious. This one in particular has really hot sambal with it, so I always end up giving it to dad.


Behind the nasi lemak is chwee kway. I've never eaten this anywhere other than at this place. Apparently one of our family friends can make it (I should bribe them) but I've never eaten it anywhere else. ANOTHER DELICIOUS MEAL. Kickapoo Joy Juice is good too. Can't get it in Adelaide... yet.





Place: Gelatissimo
Dish: Gelato - Chocolate and Blood Orange


I went here at about 11pm in the evening in the middle of Melbourne City. I know the flavours don't sound good together, but after eating heaps of sweet things during the day, the fruity orange flavour kind of balanced it out. It tasted good.




















Place: Hill's BBQ, Box Hill

Dish: Con Lo Mi, Duck, chicken and a glass of water.

I ALWAYS have Con lo mi from this place. I love it. I love the lettuce they put under the noodles, they taste really good because they're soaked in the sauce.

But, the real STAR of this place is the DUCK. I had a bit of chicken, but not much, because I was OBSESSED with their duck! IT'S THE BEST DUCK I HAVE EVER TASTED. I absolutely LOVE duck, but I never knew it could taste this good.
Oh God, I'm craving it now.


Place: Nasi Lemak House
Dish: Nasi Lemak

Thank you, Captain Obvious. Of course there's nasi lemak at the nasi lemak house. I love nasi lemak!! This place is always full, so we got take away and took it back to the hotel. Since I had to share it with my dad (doom!) I didn't eat much more than that (see left image) but since I was still full from the 50,000 other meals I ate that day, I didn't mind TOO much...





Place: Bread Top, Box Hill
Dish: Various yummy things.

I didn't end up eating it all, because I brought it back to Adelaide... and then just left it to go off. I bought all this stuff when I was really hungry, which explains why there's so much. I bought this just before my Hill's BBQ duck meal <3 href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidYg3FUqLXvRr-4z7Zqdo-VDhjLc4vx4LnsCpM1zBzhNDidwX7xdu-_XCbUXX0J8lhhwNyJ1pulEKy76KpPVwfmqafcNYlwRt1hVDzhhcvOJkFxefjHl3pa4qpSGRzNz6zsMqQwSzRiA/s1600-h/NORSIASkitchen_after.jpg">

Place: Norsiah's Kitchen
Dish: Nasi Lemak, Muturbak

This small, unnoticed piece of paradise is right next to a student campus or student apartment block or something, which makes it CHEAP... AND if you show your student card, you get 10% off, so it becomes CHEAPER. JOY TO ME. The food there is authentic and delicious. Their nasi lemak is GOD-LIKE. Actually, now that I think about it, it might even be BETTER than Singapore Chom Chom. We are regulars at this place, and the people that work there know my dad now, even though they only see him every long weekend. The blurry-beyond-recognition picture was meant to be a picture of the resturaunt. I only realised I didn't have a photo as we were driving past the place, so I quickly grabbed my phone and attempted to snap a photo as we drove past. Unfortunately, the best I could get is the one you see above. The random light on the right hand side is Norsiah's Kitchen. All this food talk is making me hungry.

And finally - I didn't eat these - but in a past blog (also about food,) Donna commented me and mentioned that she used to LOVE these little fruit lollies known as "runts"

She said she wasn't sure whether they sold them anymore, and I can safely say they do. As you can see in the picture on the left, I FOUND THEM! Except, to eat them, you need to go to Box Hill in Melbourne, and find this candy machine.
I got a bit excited when I saw them, ("DONNA LIKES THESE!") and got a lot of weird looks from passers-by as I took a photo of them on my phone.

“I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything.” - Demetri Martin

Making the world a better place.

Oh, pretty sick this week. I caught it off Claudina. I guess it serves me right. We sit next to each other everyday at school, in almost every class, and whenever she has a coughing fit, I jokingly tell her to "SHUT UP!" It's funny, but she would respond by deliberately coughing on me. I was bound to get sick eventually.



From about Thursday to Monday, I was at my worst. While doing my homework, my table looked like this:
I took that photo especially for this blog! (I know, that's really sad.) As you can see, I'm very good for the environment, what with all my used tissues that will probably turn into landfil etc etc...

I'm slowly getting better, though!
It sucks being sick, because I tried to give blood. Unfortunately, you have to wait 7 days after vomiting before you can give blood... and it hadn't been 7 days for me. I was SO close to being able to give blood! Tangy and I have decided to go in our frees one day soon and give blood together! I think it'll be heaps of fun! I'm excited. In the evening, after I went to the Blood Donors place, it was the day before April Fool's day. I decided to get in early, and told Potato:

(7:38 PM) ojaye: XD oh oh oh ! AND i went to the blood donors place today!
(7:39 PM) Potato: AND DONATED YOUR DELICIOUS BLOOD?! XD
(7:39 PM) ojaye: HAHAHAHAHAHA i did, but there were complications
(7:39 PM) Potato: Why?
(7:39 PM) ojaye: oh, you know how i get nosebleeds? and i've been sick? well iiiiiii.. didnt tell them
and ended up fainting and having to go to hospital XD
(7:40 PM) Potato: ......
(7:40 PM) ojaye: im gonna have to take medication for the next 2 months until my blood replenishes XD the ladies werent happy =\haha
(7:40 PM) Potato: You idiot....
(7:40 PM) ojaye: XD im joking gosh! nah i couldnt give blood XD
(7:41 PM) Potato: I SWEAR, DON'T EVER FREAKING SCARE ME LIKE THAT!>=(

I had fun, so I tried it on dear Tangman. He basically said "omg omg omg Oliviaaaaaaaaaa @___@" over and over until I told him it wasn't true. They weren't as much fun as my past "
pranks," where I told Anthony that I had to move to India for an arranged marriage.

The trip to the blood bank wasn't in vain, though. I got a free keyring thingy that goes around my neck for keys/usbs/phones and such. I found out that my iron levels, blood pressure and everything else is normal.
I really think that giving blood is a great thing to do. It really does take a special person to give blood, so to anyone that reads this, DO IT! For more information, go to http://www.donateblood.com.au/ or call 13 14 95. I know I sound like an advertisement at the moment, but I really want to support them! You even get free food and drink afterwards. It's a great atmosphere, it's not like "HERE'S A BIG NEEDLE. IMMA TAKE YO BLOOD. GO HOME BIATCH." It's more like, "Here, have a free keyring. Now, come and have free food and drink! Come back soon!" JUST GO. GOSH.
Today, mum went to work. She didn't know what to make for dinner, so she put on some rice and said "there's meat in the fridge." At 5:15pm, I went to the fridge and looked for the meat, but all I saw was leftover spaghetti mince. I called mum and said "Where's the meat? There's only spaghetti meat."
Mum: "That's it."
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, SPAGHETTI MEAT DOES NOT BELONG WITH RICE.

But, beggars can't be choosers. So I heated up the spaghetti meat stuff (what the hell is it called anyway?) and covered it with rice, and handed it to my brother. As you can see above, the rice is completely covering the meat, which creates the surprise! I know, I know. I'm such a gourmet genius.
Upon handing it to my brother, I said "I call it Rice Surprise! You have to eat it, it's all we have."
My brother looked at the food, and then looked at me as if I had asked him to gnaw off his foot.
I made myself some. It doesn't actually taste that bad. It was nice. I like it. Maybe we'll make it again someday.

I was in a card store and there were these cards that said "Get well soon." Fuck that! Get well *now*!
Demetri Martin

I WANT!

I love food. I love it so much. Over the past few months I've been having trouble eating as much as I used to. At first I thought I was sick, or had some sort of health problem that should be seen to... but now I think it might just be because my body isn't taking crap anymore. It's sort of depressing, in a way, because I can't abuse my body with fattening, greasy foods as much as I would like, because I simply don't enjoy it as much as I used to. Also, I've lost heaps of weight and so my stomach has obviously shrunk as a result. I probably don't have enough room for heaps of food now.

Lately, I've been craving a whole bunch of foods. I think they're linked to good memories, or maybe I just really like them.

The first food I craved isn't really a food. It's a drink. When I went on exchange to Japan in 2007, I had about two cans of this stuff a day. I was so addicted! Also, the shape of the cans were awesome. This drink I'm talking about ... is Grape Fanta.

You CAN buy this in Adelaide. Go to any good confectionary store (like the one in Rundle Mall for example), and you'll find it in the "American Soft Drinks" section, along with Dr Pepper and L&P (Which is a Kiwi Soft Drink - also really good. ) For some reason, though, it just doesn't feel the same as the one I had in Japan. Maybe I thought the can was awesome, or maybe it's been sitting in storage for so long that its taste is gone. All I know is I would like to go back to Japan to drink it again, where I started.

Another thing I've been craving was at my school canteen (tuck shop!) when I was in primary school. They called it "chalk," and, not being a great lolly eater, I was in love with this lolly. It was a bit squishy, shaped like a piece of chalk, with a colour in the middle. It's hard to describe. I never thought of taking a photo of it because... I just didn't. Digital cameras weren't big back then. Neither were camera phones. I think chalk might have been discontinued, and as my mum used to work in the canteen (does she still? I'm not sure) we've been trying to trace it back.
It might be a while before I eat it again, if I ever do. I know that if I finally do get my beloved chalk back, I'll probably say "What the hell did I like this so much for?" Such is life.

There's one more thing I'm craving. I've only eaten it once, and that was when I lived in New Zealand... over a decade ago. I am talking about Hershey's Kisses. I ate them with my best friend in New Zealand all those years ago. Now, over the past few weeks, I've really wanted to have them again, but, during my free lesson today, mum and I were in a store, looking for costumes for a 70's theme party (suggestions, anyone?) when I saw this:

IT'S LIKE A SIGN! I have to buy Hershey's Kisses! It was a really weird coincidence that this costume was in the store after I've been talking about it. ALSO, THE COSTUME IS SO CUTE! Dressing a small child up like a chocolate is pure genius. It makes me want to name all my children after foods, as I've done with my pet fish (Sushi, Ikan and Chips)

Speaking of Ikan, I also really, really feel like Nasi Lemak. Since my dad is from Singapore, I eat a lot of Nonya, Indian and Malaysian foods. I've become a bit obsessed with Nasi Lemak, to the point were I was once eating it and sent my boyfriend a photo of it, along with the caption "SEX ON A PLATE." I don't think he found it very attractive, as he replied with "WDH" What's really weird is what apparently "makes" a good Nasi Lemak is the Sambal that comes with it. That's the only thing I DON'T eat on the plate, because I can't take spicey things. *sigh*

So, to end this post. I really feel like these foods.

You, as the reader, have now wasted your life pointlessly learning about the foods I feel like. You can't un-read it. Sucks to be you, huh!

There's a saying that goes "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Okay. How about "Nobody should throw stones." That's crappy behavior. My policy is: "No stone throwing regardless of housing situation." Don't do it. There is one exception though. If you're trapped in a glass house, and you have a stone, then throw it. What are you, an idiot? So maybe it's "Only people in glass houses should throw stones, provided they are trapped in the house with a stone." It's a little longer, but yeah.
Demetri Martin

All the titles for this post sound stupid.

Before I start writing, I would like to point out that my writing style on this blog is slightly different to my other sites. This is because, like Mara, I am attempting to write as formally as possible. This is a feeble attempt to actually 'blog' about opinions, ideas and such. Or anything random that comes into my mind.

• First, arriving. She arrives first with a friend, and as he approaches, a wide grin spreads across his face as he fakes a low, 'i-am-impressed' whistle (He has trouble whistling). Silently, he hugs her and says quietly "You look stunning."
• After partnering up and going to the toilet with another friend, as all females do, she comes back to childishly leave a giant lipstick mark on his cheek. However, before she gets the chance to, she hears an excited "Ta-da!" and feels a rose being pushed into her hand.
• The DJ's voice rings through the room, "This is the last song for the couples." Knowing, and not minding that he hates dancing, and NEVER dances - EVER, she sits and happily jokes with the rest of the table. Before she knows it, he is standing up. Suddenly, she is being pulled to the dance floor. "If I didn't do this, I would regret it later," he says quietly as a massive smile spreads across her face, forgetting that her feet and legs are aching and blistering from hardcore dancing the entire night with the others. Towards the end of the song, her friend jumps in to dance with the two. Many would think this would 'ruin the moment', so to speak, but this makes her more joyful, because she is reminded that she is surrounded by some of the most important people in her life.

EW! CORNY!
Anyone who's reading this would probably know - but if you don't, I'll tell you.
I may seem like a dignified, independent awesome woman, because I totally am... [hehehe] But I have a confession to make to you fellow interweb bloggers. I'm whipped! Tied down, if you will! I know, I'm disgusted with myself too. If me from the beginning of last year could see me now, I believe I would shock myself. "WHAT HAPPENED TO INDEPENDENT OJAYE?" I would cry and slap myself. Then, I would calmly reply to myself, "You are still the same Ojaye, you're just less stressed about everything now."

Apparently relationships will do that to you. So, even though I am weird about blogging about this sort of thing, I really want to rant about my awesome 'other half', because he's really really... awesome.
We recently attended his formal, as he goes to an all boys' school. I knew it'd be a great night, because I went with his friend last year to the same formal. I LOVE all boys' school formals, because they're less serious than all girls' schools.

Anyone who goes to an all girls' school would know what it's like - many take formal night too seriously, expect too much, you know? The awards at a girls' school are serious - Best Dressed, Dance Floor King/Queen whatever.
Don't get me wrong, it's good and all, and I REALLY enjoy it - formal is the most fun ever! - but some girls will have their nights ruined because they didn't get Best Dressed, or because someone is wearing the same shoes as her. That really sucks. I think too much importance is placed over looking good. How disappointing! It's fun to dress up, but when girls take it too seriously, the consequences could be DIRE!

At boys' schools, the entire night is about having the time of your life. Guys dress up as cowboys, bring top hats and canes, and even go to the effort of finding a purple pimpin' suit~
I LOVE the atmosphere! If a guy hates dancing, the rest will include him (much to his disgust, I'm sure) and pick him up for crowd surfing. Last year they even had a conga line.

The awards have the common "Best Dressed" and "Best Couple" etc, but they also have fun awards like "Biggest Tool Moment," "Toughest Teacher," and "Most Likely to be Suspended by the End of the Night." Everyone knows that they're jokes, but everyone has a huge laugh and it's a riot.
Of course, I'm sure if a girl at my school won "Biggest Tool" award, she'd probably be quite hurt by it. I may enjoy these awards, because, to quote one of my previous music teachers, "That's such a boy comment! I teach at an all girls' school to get away from that sort of talk!" Sorry, Ms Sprason. Don't worry though, she, too, laughed at the comment. (She said this after I mentioned - to no one in particular - that the window looked like someone sneezed on it. I didn't realise anyone had actually heard it until I saw the look of SHOCKHORROR on her face. I guess someone is bound to hear, in a class of five people.)
I don't really know why I'm writing about the differences between formals, I guess I just find the overall contrasts interesting... you know, how much importance is placed on different things?

Well anyway, back to my boy.
I'm really grateful, because the other day I was reading through my English essay. I was trying to think of ways to re-word some sentences that seemed wrong, when I realises that Potato is excellent with words. I asked him on MSN if he could simply skim through my essay and make sure everything was gramatically correct, and maybe tell me if anything sounded out of place.

"When is it due?" He asked upon receiving the essay
"Tuesday, why?" I replied
"Just wondering how much time I have at my disposal. XD" He typed back.

At this point, my brain screams "TYPICAL!" I should've known he'd want to get it absolutely perfect! I'M WASTING HIS TIME BY SENDING HIM MY ESSAY.
Potato never half does things.
So, in order to save his spare time, I frantically 'yell' "NO! DON'T SPEND MUCH TIME ON IT! I just want a skimmmmmmmmmmmm"
At this point, he ignores me and continues to edit my essay.
Typical. Really typical.
Stupid, selfless, perfectionist.

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like ‘Huh? What the hell is this?’, but if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like ‘This is nice!.’
Demetri Martin

La dee dum.

Wow! It's been a while since I've updated this. I keep forgetting I have this blog. I was thinking of using this as a 'proper' blog, where I write about my thoughts and stuff, with an attempt to write with good grammar and such.

How long will this last, I wonder?

Well, year 12 certainly is exciting. I actually prefer it to other years, I guess it's the freedom, because we're growing into young women...

... or maybe it's because I'm lacking in assignments.

I'm actually really happy (for now), that I've taken basically all exam-based subjects. I'm sure if I update this blog later in the year, I'll be swearing like a drunken sailor due to my exam study, but I really prefer it to having a million assignments due at once.
Speaking of assignments, I have an essay on Good Night, and Good Luck due next week. It's a George Clooney film, for those who haven't heard of it. I thought it was great, though it's really hard to understand when you're falling asleep.

- For the record, I WASN'T falling asleep because the movie was boring. I really do like it. It's just that we were in the Drama Room to watch it on the projector, and the conditions were perfect for sleep! WHAT WAS I TO DO?!

• The temperature of the room was perfect, in my opinion.
• It was raining, and the sound of rain soothes me.
• The Drama Room, for those who have never set foot in it, is extremely dark because the curtains are designed to make the room pitch black if need be.
• I was sitting on the floor, at the back of the room, leaning on the wall, and Claudina was leaning on my shoulder. It was incredibly comfortable.
• The movie was black and white, which added to the dark, calming, sleepy atmosphere.
• The soundtrack of Good Night, and Good Luck is JAZZ. I love Jazz, it's like rain to me. Soothing and I could listen to it forever.
• And to top it all off, the actors in the film, (George Clooney, for example), have really nice voices.

They may as well have given me a blanket, pillow and soft toy and said, "Here, Ojaye, you deserve a rest."

I can't remember what the point of this post is, but I'm really enjoying writing it. Unfortunately for my loyal reader, (myself), dinner is calling me and I must conclude my enlightening words of wisdom.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Steven Wright