NOT having food poisoning during exams! In my exams last semester, I got food poisoning the day before my first exam. I thought I was going to die. My uncle probably poisoned me, haha. But yeah my Uncle and Grandma were visiting and I was really really nervous about my first ever exam at Uni... and it was my most dreaded one: Biology exam.
See, you'd normally think Chemistry is would be my worst exam, and it normally is, but my last Chemistry exam involved a lot of maths... and I'm cool with maths. So though I was worried about it, I was a million times more worried about biology because I'd never taken biology as a subject before and I
didn't understand the crazy biology language. You know, I've taken science subjects all through high school, but I'm not really a 'science' person. I'm like a borderline science/artsy person. Science people are so... science-y. And I'm so... not science-y. I pretend to be but really, I'm like
the idiot's guide to science. If I understand something well, I can explain it to people because I drop alllll the technical language.
I'm so un-science-y that I think of genes and stuff like hot dogs and then the hot dog buns fall off and then genes can be copied. Stuff like that. Which is why I'll never be a scientist. I'll work with people because they'll understand me and science people will be like "What hot dogs? What the hell are you on about?" It's a lot easier now, because I'm more used to it, but when I was thrown in for the first time it was overwhelming. So much science!
Anyway what was I talking about? Food poisoning. So I was studying really hard for my biology exam and my family went out to one of my favourite restaurants with my Uncle and Grandma. They kindly brought me back a nasi lemak in a takeaway container. <3 I was so excited. As I started eating it, I thought it tasted a bit funny.
"Don't worry, it's just cause it's all mixed together" they said, because I don't normally mix my nasi lemak ALL together.
So I ate it.
Later that night, I started to feel sick and sweaty/feverish.
"You're just nervous" my parents said.
"I'm not, I'm sick. I'm definately sick." I said. By now, I know the difference. Not that I needed anything done about it, I just needed someone to believe that I was sick.
They wouldn't believe me. They said it was nerves.
So in the morning I woke up, very pale, and got in the car. I felt very very queasy and feverish. My parents were giving me the usual pep talk. "you'll do the first question and you'll realise, 'I can do this!' and then your stomach pains will go away."
"I think it was the nasi lemak," I said
"Trust me, you'll feel better as you're doing the exam," they replied.
Ok, so I got out of the car at the showgrounds where the exam was held. As I was walking, I felt light-headed. I needed to vomit. But there was nowhere around to vomit. It was just pavement. But there was a line of trees (this is next to the ferris wheel by the way.) I had just walked past. I had to make a quick calculation in my head:
*can I run behind the ferris wheel and do it there, or do I have to do it out in the open?* I wouldn't make it to the ferris wheel. I turned around and walked very quickly back to the closest tree and .. you know. Did my thing. There was a girl walking past at that moment. I was SO embarrassed, I covered my face. I can only assume she thought I was hungover on the day of an exam.
So I still went into the exam and, looking at the exam paper later, you could tell I was sick. The writing was HUGE and slanted, as if all the muscles in my arm had disintegrated. But it didn't matter, I passed with food poisoning.
Needless to say my parents believed me when I got back in the car, sweating and shaking. Then went home and died.
Cool.
Update: Whoops. I forgot to add that I walked past those trees on Monday at my Biology exam and again on Wednesday for my Chemistry exam. I noticed that the tree I threw up on has not grown as much as the other trees. It's noticably smaller. I can't help but feel responsible.
Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.
- George Carlin
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