My flawless future business plan.

I have not, nor will I ever use or sell drugs, especially not to Japanese politicians to cause a downfall in their government. This conversation came around because my dear friend Claudina and I were talking about how we both have no idea where our degrees will take us and we fear for our futures. She is taking a double degree in science and arts (Japanese) and I am taking a degree in biomedical science with statistics and psychology. This conversation happened on MSN and has been edited to make it more readable and many instances where we were laughing at our own jokes have been removed.

Ojaye: I wonder if we'd ever start a business together
We could do an international science business and travel the world with my Statistics and your Japanese,
selling ecstacy to Presidents and Prime Ministers

Claudina: LMAO
sounds like a plan

Ojaye: then we can take it away from them suddenly and I can provide counselling services
then you can write reports on the downfall of modern Japan due to drug problems in the Government
we can sell it for millions
or the government will bribe us to withold its release

Claudina: we'll be rich, we'll be out and st petersburg will have some more to talk abouttt~~

Ojaye: we'll take the bribe and then "accidentally" release a copy of the report to the black market for a small fortune
then we can sue the people in the underground who released it for even more money!
CLAUDINA I'M A GENIUS

Claudina: yes you are
I'm in

Ojaye: We may need someone with a law degree
I know a guy
well he doesn't have one yet
but he's in first year

Claudina: a few more years

Ojaye: yeah
don't worry, we can work the kinks out of my perfect plan in that time
I reckon we'd be a pretty good team in the workforce
I could imagine us in like.. a really stylish boardroom
have you ever seen the movie "Old Dogs"?

Claudina: ....
I can't say I have

Ojaye: Ok well its a movie with John Travolta and Robin Williams and they're business men
and they're trying to do this huge deal with these Japanese businessmen
and the boardroom in Japan is so sexy
it's got a whole wall of windows and it's pretty
and we'll be there
talking about ecstacy and government

Claudina: are you basing our future plan on a movie?

Ojaye: No but when I was talking about it , the movie came to mind
How dare you accuse me of such unprofessional behaviour!
basing our future on a movie
Pah!

Claudina: pah pah pah

The conversation immediately turned into one about internet shopping and dresses. We are easily distracted by pretty things. If you're curious as to how the conversation changed so suddenly, it happened like this:
 
Ojaye: I really love that dress I showed you

I think I'll measure myself

Claudina: lol xD
the clothes on there are nice

Ojaye: OMG
MY BOOBS ARE 88cm!
This was too big for the dress.

“I have nothing to declare but this opium”

- Oscar Wilde on airport protocol (Might actually be from here.)

Am I normal?

How interesting. Many young people I've spoken to rejoice at the thought of spending a weekend alone. Partying, staying out late. I hate the thought. I think the very thought of it has ruined my week!

To cheer myself up, I started looking up "awesome pictures."

My next post will be the most awesome thing you will ever read. I'll write it immediately after this one.

“Make up your own damn quote!”
- Oscar Wilde. (Ok maybe it's from here but I still think it counts.)

Soon to be spiffy.

I'm in the process of making a new... layout... thingy for this blog. Stay tuned because it will either be beautiful or a failure. In the meantime, here's a picture:

This is a drawing of the first time I ever laughed at someone falling over. It happened at uni before my chemistry lecture and I had to hold my laughter until I walked away because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. After holding it in for a few minutes, I laughed constantly throughout my lecture, and drew it. The guy was walking normally and fell backwards. On nothing. It's like his hat as too heavy for his head, so he fell on his butt and then just lay down. He wasn't hurt but his friend looked at him blankly as if to say "What the hell are you doing?" And the guy said something along the lines of "I fell."

Thuong: Hey Mara, are they flies in your drink? I think there are flies in your drink.
Mara: No, they're my delicious seeds. I want to grow passionfruit in my belly.

Whyyy does it always rain on meee?

Here is a post I never published. It was a great day so I'm going to post it now. With a photo.

Claudina asked me to go shopping with her. So. Today. I was shopping with Claudina, and afterwards, as we walked to school, it started pelting with rain. HARD. We got completely soaked, from head to foot. Inside out. Shocking. I spent the rest of the day shivering. Claudina blames me, because I wanted to go to school early to make sure we had enough time to sign in, etc. I blame her for being born in the first place. I think I'm right.

Life lesson

University can be the biggest bitch. Sometimes you just have one of those days. Or weeks. Or like... months. Don't worry, everybody has them. On those days, just turn into a giant green muscleman and destroy downtown.

"Dont get me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry"
- The Hulk guy whose real name escapes me at this present time.

Fashion Tips with Ojaye: Part 1

You all must know by now that I know everything there is to know about fashion. It's only a matter of time before I'm a model or a fashion designer or something. You know you can't deny it. I think it's my duty to give all you not-fashion-experts an insight into the brilliant mind of a fashion queen.

Colour of the millenium: ORANGE.

Tip #1. Orange is the new black. Wear as much orange as you can. It looks good on anyone and everyone, as you can see here:

Milan: Fashion Week 2010

Look how happy they are. Do you think they would be that happy if they weren't wearing orange? No. No they wouldn't. Notice the guy giving the peace sign. What's he wearing? Let's take a closer look.

Weionn: Fashion Icon. Does not have a last name because he's famous like "Madonna" or "Cher"

This is a great low-budget outfit, for those who can't afford an expensive orange wardrobe. In cases like this, just a splash of orange is required for a very chic outfit. Weionn is wearing a beautiful orange glittery material around his neck as a scarf. The material can be bought from an Spotlight store for a very low price. Weionn is also wearing a streamer tied around his neck, which compliments the scarf nicely. Around his head is a headband - quite a beautiuful one. The entire ensemble just oozes sophistication, especially it's not screaming orange, he won't be bothered by people constantly asking for his autograph or to take photos with him. Not much anyway. He'll still be bothered a little bit.

Fashion designer and model: Ojaye signing autographs at Milan Fashion Week 2010

This is an example of the perfect outfit. In the top photo you can see the entire ensemble, consisting of an orange T-shirt, an orange-and-white (not red-and-white) skirt and an orange see-through tutu. I'm sure you would all agree this look is in this season. The top photo was a difficult one to get since she's constantly surrounded by people asking for her autograph or photos with her.

Tip #2: Accessories are a must. As you can see, Ojaye has tied an orange streamer around her wrist, painted her fingernails and, for daywear, tied streamers around her neck like a tie.

As an extra, wear a pair of Aviator sunglasses taken from some guy named Tom. In all honesty, it's very difficult to pull off the Aviator look, and most people can't. If you can, as you put on the sunglasses, you must turn to Tom and say, "You know what the difference between you and me is? I make this look good." Otherwise you will be breaking Australian Law and must take them off immediately.

Stay tuned for more fashion tips from Ojaye.

I hate those sappy emails.

From my other blog.

You're my friend. I love you. Hey, share a smile with those around you. If you send this to 25 people, you're an amazing friend. If you don't send this back to me, we are officially enemies. How dare you be so thoughtless and not send it back. I don't care. They're stupid and fill up my inbox, and I delete them. Unless they're actually good ones. Sometimes they are, and if my dad sends them to me, it normally means that there will be an asshole punchline that will amuse me. I like those.

You know what thought? Sometimes smiling is a good thing. I'm actually well known for smiling at everyone. It's a bit of a nervous habit, but I also just like to smile. Big. Like this:

:D

I was going to post a photo but now I'm having second thoughts.

Let me tell you a story. One day I was at the supermarket, buying a drink because it's cheaper than cafes and stuff. I'm clever like that. The only checkout chick who didn't have a line as long as (something really long), was a woman about my mother's age who did not look happy. In fact, I thought she was going to yell at me for choosing her checkout. I approached her nervously, at first avoiding eye contact but as I put my bottle on the counter, I looked up at her and automatically smiled as I usually do. Her reaction was: "OH! What a beautiful smile! That's so nice! I'm so glad you smiled at me, thank you! You've made my day, I really needed that!" She went on and on like that. It got me thinking, do people actually care if you smile?

I've been learning in psychology (even though it's common knowledge) that you're more attractive if you smile. Whenever I'm walking with my friend Eric and there's a shop assistant/charity person/advertising something person/whatever, he always says "They're going to go to you first. Watch." and they always do. Apparently I'm approachable. That might also be why homeless people and druggies also stand in front of me and ask me for a dollar until my dad swears at them, or I freak out and jog past them.

What am I trying to say? I have no idea. Smile if you want. People will like you. You don't have to smile though. People might ask you for money.

Ok, as a bonus for reading this, I'll show you a comparison of what I look like when I am smiling and when I am not smiling. You can decide which you prefer, and then we will see if my psychology lecture was correct.

Here is me smiling:



This is me (in red) with the beautiful Super Duper, who braved the rain to say goodbye to me at the airport. [and get cheap lunch on tuesdays at IKEA next door.]

This is me on a bad day, when I'm in a terrible mood:



I actually think I'm kinda sexy when I'm pouty and in a bad mood like that, but I have no say in this. You decide.