HI EVERYONE.

I saw an awesome shirt today! My friend Daniel was wearing it. It was blank, with "This is my best shirt" written on it. Everytime I see him, he's wearing a cool shirt. Has anyone else got a friend like that? Where they have awesome clothes? I just want to rip it off them when I see them. Just have a casual conversation with them and suddenly grab them by the collar and rip the shirt over their head and run away as they chase me and yell that I'm insane.

There was a point to this blog but I can't remember what it was. That seems to happen a lot, doesn't it? I'm doing an essay about MRI scans at the moment. My goodness it's boring. I mean, interesting in its own special way but come on, I just want it to be finished.

OOOO! I found an awesome link. Does anybody remember this book? I used to have it when I was young. I still might have it somewhere, I don't know why my mother would be so heartless as to sell it. There is a Monster at the End of this Book.

Nice. I should end this post because I really have nowhere to go with it. Here's a dress I like and want to buy.



 *watching Ghost Whisperer*
Ojaye: Wait, what did they promise?
Mum: They promised not to hide their gift from each other, and not hide from each other anymore. It's called a gift for a reason and stuff. Like you and I have the gift of dance.
Ojaye: HAHAHA
Mum: ... and we have to hide it from everyone.

FIRE ENGINES. WEEEWOOOWEEEWOOO

So I had a really bad day Thursday. (Keep reading, this isn't a 'sad' blog. I'm going somewhere with this!)

I woke up in the morning for my prac (Chemistry in the laboratories) and my labcoat and safety glasses were not where I had left them. I've been driving my brother to school a lot lately so I had little time to look for it. (I later found it under two giant teddy bears I got for my birthday this year). Those who do pracs would know without a labcoat, glasses and appropriate shoes, you simply aren't allowed to participate. This results in a fail. (You may be able to reschedule but it's a hassle and I have no time for that.) I was really tired as well so I was freaking out, stressing, crying, angry. You know, the whole bit.

Anyway I texted a few friends and found I could hire the things I needed from uni for a fee. I had a feeling you could do this but I didn't want to rely on it, seeing as they may run out of lab coats etc... so I hired a ripped, stained labcoat which smelled of a thousand sweaty adolescent men. I got a pair of beaten-up lab glasses but it was better than nothing.

After my prac, I got on the bus an I felt awful. Nauseous. Very sick. I was actually getting worried as I began to grow more and more uncomfortable in my seat. All of a sudden, my stomach started to constrict and I started to gag and lurch etc. My body was trying to vomit but the person in front of me was wearing a nice hat so I didn't want to ruin it. Also the girl next to me would have been shocked. For the first time in my life, I was able to stop myself from violently vomiting. In the past I haven't been so lucky. After the incident, I was sweating and shaking the whole way home. I called my mum when I got off the bus and told her (because I didn't want to scare anyone around me. XD) I was terrified, I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was trying to think of all the reasons why I would be feeling this way. (Mum: "You're not pregnant are you?!") I hadn't eaten or had a drink all day. I hadn't had much sleep. I was stressed from the morning's incidents. The bus driver was driving like a formula 1 racer and I have a tendency to get car sick (but never that bad).

Then I remembered! In the labs I had been using a lot of chemicals with fumes. For some reason I could smell them strongly while others didn't notice. I also remembered that I'm pretty sensitive to fumes, as I can't use bleach often when cleaning because it makes me sick too. I flipped through my laboratory manual to find this:

ETHYL ACETATE: May be harmful by inhalation, ingestion or skin absorption. Prolonged exposure can cause: nausea, headache and vomiting and narcotic effect.
Inhalation: Vapours may cause drowsiness and dizziness.

Damn it, Chemistry! Why can't we just be friends?!

Anyway, something that day made everything all better. Well not really because I thought I was going to die but this was really nice. When I was waiting at my bus stop, there were some FIREMEN IN TOWN. Like, A LOT OF THEM. Hundreds! I don't know why they weren't out fighting fires, but they weren't. They weren't wearing their awesome uniforms, they were wearing police-like uniforms with "Fire Dept" on the side or something like that. There were a few near my bus stop, laughing and talking. There had obviously been some huge event or award ceremony or something. Next to me, there was a homeless man looking through a rubbish bin. In South Australia, if we take drink cans to the recycling dept. we get 10c for every can we recycle. This can add up. I've seen this man before, he seems to work very hard gathering cans to make money to live. He carts them around everywhere. He was looking through the bin next to me when a fireman started walking towards him with a big cardboard box. Inside the box was - what appeared to be - all the cans that they had gathered from the event they had just attended.
"Merry Christmas!" The fireman smiled.
The homeless man looked up at him, shocked. Everyone in the vicinity was smiling. There had to be at least $5-$10 worth of cans in there. That is a lot of cans.

Kinda restores your faith in humanity, doesn't it?

And firemen have always been freakin' awesome to me, so that's just made me love them even more. Omg.

Ojaye: I like these glasses. I want sunglasses like these but everyone has them. Heaps of people at uni wear them and I don't want them because of that.

Mum: It's about time you started to fit in. Don't worry about not wearing what everyone else is wearing... Remember when I told you when you were young to have your own style, don't wear what everyone else is, don't follow the crowd? I was lying. I only told you that to save money. You're a but embarassing to be around now, you should start trying to fit in more.

You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to howl

I am obsessive. When I like something, I like it too much. When I was a toddler I was obsessed with animals and constantly pretended I was a cat, meowing everything I said and expecting people to understand me. (The meows would have the same rhythm as the sentences I was saying. Example: "Hello" was "Meow meow" and "how are you?" was "Meow meow meow?")

When I was in school, I was obsessed with Pokemon. Ok, I'm still obsessed, but MUCH less than I was before. Trust me on that. Both the cat and pokemon incidents led my mum to believe I would never have friends. She openly and honestly admits that because even I'm surprised I managed to make friends so easily.

Now I am a hormone-raging teenager, I am obsessed with social aspects of life. Friends, and, of course, the boyfriend. I'm so creepy. I wouldn't date me. My other obsession is musicccccccc. That's one of my lifelong ones. When I like music I dive into it and relate to every single freaking song I hear. If the guy is in love with a girl in the song, I'll fall in love with her too and think, "aww she sounds so perfect!" or I'll go "I hope I'm like that too..." Anyway let's get on with what I'm actually writing about for this post.

Florence and the Machine. Very good music. I love her lyrics. I used to repeat 'Rabbit Heart' over and over and over again. The other day in the boyfriend's car, Mara played "Howl" on repeat on Grant's mp3 player. I couldn't hear the lyrics because we were talking. I went home and listened to it properly and became completely addicted to the song.

If you could only see the beast you've made of me

I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free

Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart

Drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart

Song: Howl
Artist: Florence and the Machine
Album: Lungs


That's not the only song I've come across this week that I love. No, this is not 'song of the week.' I have another one. When I started listening to this, I had to push condoms into my ears to protect myself because HER MUSIC IS SEX. SEX FOR EARS.

Song: Precious
Artist: Esperanza Spalding
Album: Esperanza


Esperanza Spalding: Another girl crush. She's added to my list of girl crushes. I might post a blog of my girl crushes one day. She has an amazing singing voice and plays sexy double bass AT THE SAME TIME.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

SHE PLAYS DOUBLE BASS AND SINGS AT THE SAME TIME.

Incredible.

Cake Adventures!

First of all, Jordan's and Mum's birthdays were this week. Happy birthday to both of them.
I haven't read this over properly so it probably sucks. I'm too lazy to write anymore...
Yesterday was my mother's birthday. A week earlier, I had ordered her a cake from a cake shop I will call "Elephantland." I went in there and said I wanted a vanilla sponge cake with cream, strawberries, chocolate piping and the following text:

"Happy birthday Mum
Love, OJAYE, Dad, Jordan and Nana."

DISASTER #1.
It was brilliant. I am brilliant. The problem was, two days before mum's birthday, I got a phonecall saying the entire message wouldn't fit on the cake.
"Can't you just write it smaller?" I enquired, "I don't mind if the writing is small."
The woman on the phone replied, "I'm sorry, we don't actually make the cakes. We order them from a bakery and they do everything."
I kept thinking throughout the conversation, "All you have to do is TELL THEM to write everything small," but I decided not to make a fuss and just let it go. She told me I had a maximum of x words to put on the cake so I just decided to get her to write "Happy birthday Mum." How boring.

DISASTER #2.
Two days passed and I heard nothing from Elephantland. On the day of my mother's birthday, I woke up early to go to work. I wished my mother a happy birthday and gave her a present (an awesome tabletop ironing board from IKEA. I swear it's the most awesome thing you'll ever see. She liked it too.) and had to go to work. I planned to meet mum in town after work to go shopping with her and Nana. While I was at work, my phone rang. Who could it be? I wondered. I answered my phone.

B: "Hi, this is Belinda, calling from Elephantland, how are you today?"
O: "I'm good, how are you?"
B: "Alright. There's a problem with your cake. It hasn't arrived. The bakery hasn't sent it, but you can pick it up tomorrow morning."
O: "I'm sorry, what? Her birthday is today... I can't pick it up tomorrow."
B: "We order it from a bakery and it just hasn't arrived. There's nothing I can do about it, so sorry. The best I can do is get you to pick it up tomorrow."
O: *slightly panicking but hiding it from this strange Elephantland employee, who seems happy to change the date of my mum's birthday* "Sorry, I'm ordering the cake with someone else so I'll have to sort it out with them and call you back."
Belinda gave me her number and I hung up.

At this point, I went to speak to my father, who was the "someone else" I was ordering the cake with. I am extremely timid dealing with employee people and demanding refunds and such, but him, being a strong Singapore/Malaysian always searching for a bargain and impeccable service, called Belinda of Elephantland back and told her that this was unacceptable and we would like a refund and we would find a replacement cake that day.


DISASTER #3.
After hanging up, everyone in the workplace frantically began calling cake places and asking what they could do. We finally found a place I will call "Sexyguy." Dad called Sexyguy and asked what cakes they had to offer. Sexyguy was brilliant and offered many delicious cakes for us to buy. (And it was much cheaper than the original cake.) We finally decided on a delicious chocolate cake. Dad called Sexyguy and asked the employee to put it aside for us. As dad grabbed his keys to leave the office, Sexyguy called back and said that someone else had sold the cake while they were on the phone to us. DISASTER. We decided on a fruity cake instead.


DISASTER #4.
All this time, neither dad nor I had money to buy these delicious cakes, so we had to call mum into the office to give us money for some mystery reason we wouldn't tell her about. (We payed her back later but neither of us had money at the time.) ANYWAY. After this, Sexyguy called back once again saying they could give us the original cake after all, as they called ANOTHER Sexyguy and asked if they had the chocolate one. And they did.

DISASTER #5.

So as dad went to Sexyguy finally to pick up the chocolate cake, Elephantland called me back.
B: "Hi, this is Belinda from Elephantland, how are you?"
O: "I'm alright," (Automatic reply), "How are you?"
B: "I'm good. Listen, I pulled some strings and I can get that cake for you now. You can pick it up at 4pm as we'd arranged earlier."
O: "Uh oh, my dad just ordered another cake and has gone out to get it..."

I gave her Dad's number but he hadn't taken his phone with him. He came back with the cake. He called Belinda of Elephantland, saying he had already bought the cake and we still want the refund. Belinda agreed.

DISASTER #6.
I understand this has nothing to do with cakes, but after I finished work, I was meant to take the tram into town in order to meet my mother and Nana. I knew they would only be in town for about an hour or so more, and it was about a 10 minute walk to the tram stop. I rushed. Rushed and rushed to the stop. When I was about 80 metres away from the tram stop, I saw, in the distance, the tram. Pulling away from the stop. Next to a bus going in the same direction. Also leaving it's stop.

I fell to the ground and cried.

I didn't actually. That's a bit too dramatic. I did, however, call out "NOOOO" dramatically, as I do normally when something like that happens. Not loudly, but loud enough for those nearby to hear. I didn't think anyone was around, but I looked to my right to see a man leaning into his parked car turn his head and staring at me like I was a mad woman. I understand him in thinking that I was crazy, because the tram was too far away for him to put two and two together.

Afraid of being late, I stood at a crossing in between the tram stop and a bus stop. My plan was that if the bus were to arrive, I could run across quickly to catch the bus. If the tram arrived, I could simply jump on the tram and ride to freedom. A nice man walked up to me at the tram stop and asked me if I thought the tram was far away. He was middle-aged and quite friendly. I had no reason to think he was a creepy sleaze or anything. I had, at this point, been waiting for about 10 minutes, so I knew the tram couldn't be far away. I told him this, and said I hoped that it would be coming soon. He then asked me where he could get a timetable for the trams. I told him he could probably get one at the public transport place in the city and that he should try there. As I had just finished telling him this, a bus arrived at the stop. I had said everything I needed to say to the man, but our conversation had not quite ended, as there was nothing to really wrap up the conversation, but he had moved a bit further away from me, indicating a kind of end to the conversation, I guess. Unfortunately, I was too worried about missing that bus at the crossing and BOLTED FOR MY LIFE across the tram tracks (at the crossing of course) and jumped on the bus. I have a feeling the man thinks I was running away from him, but I just didn't want to waste any of my mum-nana-ojaye-birthday-time.

DISASTER #7.
When I met up with mum and Nana, we had some sushi and I got diarrhoea.

RESOLUTION TO ALL DISASTERS.
At 4pm that day, I went to Elephantland to pick up my refund for the cake I had ordered. I opened the door of Elephantland and the woman, whose voice I recognised as Belinda, asked how she could help me. I told her I was Olivia and I had talked to her on the phone, and she went "OH." and went to the cash register to give me my money.

As she handed the money to me, she told me all about that crappy and unreliable bakery. Apparently the same thing happened to a $200 wedding cake the month before. It just didn't show up. On the day. A $200 wedding cake. Everyone knows you only have weddings for the cake! When a man proposes to you, you immediately ask, "Do we get cake?" and if he says yes, you marry him. Everyone knows that. They ruined a couples marriage, a couple's happiness. Their lifetime together. Shattered. I didn't say this of course, but I thought it. Belinda of Elephantland told me that since Elephantland is a franchise, they all order from one bakery so they are not allowed to change either. How unfortunate. Belinda also added, "I can't sell the cake, so you may as well have it."
Still thinking about that poor couple and their wedding cake, I looked at her and said, "sorry?"

"Oh, well, I got the cake anyway and I can't sell it, so you can have it for free."

A ray of light shone from the heavens. A free cake, you say? Oh, my dear, all is forgiven. You will be eternally grateful for giving me that cake.

My flawless future business plan.

I have not, nor will I ever use or sell drugs, especially not to Japanese politicians to cause a downfall in their government. This conversation came around because my dear friend Claudina and I were talking about how we both have no idea where our degrees will take us and we fear for our futures. She is taking a double degree in science and arts (Japanese) and I am taking a degree in biomedical science with statistics and psychology. This conversation happened on MSN and has been edited to make it more readable and many instances where we were laughing at our own jokes have been removed.

Ojaye: I wonder if we'd ever start a business together
We could do an international science business and travel the world with my Statistics and your Japanese,
selling ecstacy to Presidents and Prime Ministers

Claudina: LMAO
sounds like a plan

Ojaye: then we can take it away from them suddenly and I can provide counselling services
then you can write reports on the downfall of modern Japan due to drug problems in the Government
we can sell it for millions
or the government will bribe us to withold its release

Claudina: we'll be rich, we'll be out and st petersburg will have some more to talk abouttt~~

Ojaye: we'll take the bribe and then "accidentally" release a copy of the report to the black market for a small fortune
then we can sue the people in the underground who released it for even more money!
CLAUDINA I'M A GENIUS

Claudina: yes you are
I'm in

Ojaye: We may need someone with a law degree
I know a guy
well he doesn't have one yet
but he's in first year

Claudina: a few more years

Ojaye: yeah
don't worry, we can work the kinks out of my perfect plan in that time
I reckon we'd be a pretty good team in the workforce
I could imagine us in like.. a really stylish boardroom
have you ever seen the movie "Old Dogs"?

Claudina: ....
I can't say I have

Ojaye: Ok well its a movie with John Travolta and Robin Williams and they're business men
and they're trying to do this huge deal with these Japanese businessmen
and the boardroom in Japan is so sexy
it's got a whole wall of windows and it's pretty
and we'll be there
talking about ecstacy and government

Claudina: are you basing our future plan on a movie?

Ojaye: No but when I was talking about it , the movie came to mind
How dare you accuse me of such unprofessional behaviour!
basing our future on a movie
Pah!

Claudina: pah pah pah

The conversation immediately turned into one about internet shopping and dresses. We are easily distracted by pretty things. If you're curious as to how the conversation changed so suddenly, it happened like this:
 
Ojaye: I really love that dress I showed you

I think I'll measure myself

Claudina: lol xD
the clothes on there are nice

Ojaye: OMG
MY BOOBS ARE 88cm!
This was too big for the dress.

“I have nothing to declare but this opium”

- Oscar Wilde on airport protocol (Might actually be from here.)

Am I normal?

How interesting. Many young people I've spoken to rejoice at the thought of spending a weekend alone. Partying, staying out late. I hate the thought. I think the very thought of it has ruined my week!

To cheer myself up, I started looking up "awesome pictures."

My next post will be the most awesome thing you will ever read. I'll write it immediately after this one.

“Make up your own damn quote!”
- Oscar Wilde. (Ok maybe it's from here but I still think it counts.)

Soon to be spiffy.

I'm in the process of making a new... layout... thingy for this blog. Stay tuned because it will either be beautiful or a failure. In the meantime, here's a picture:

This is a drawing of the first time I ever laughed at someone falling over. It happened at uni before my chemistry lecture and I had to hold my laughter until I walked away because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. After holding it in for a few minutes, I laughed constantly throughout my lecture, and drew it. The guy was walking normally and fell backwards. On nothing. It's like his hat as too heavy for his head, so he fell on his butt and then just lay down. He wasn't hurt but his friend looked at him blankly as if to say "What the hell are you doing?" And the guy said something along the lines of "I fell."

Thuong: Hey Mara, are they flies in your drink? I think there are flies in your drink.
Mara: No, they're my delicious seeds. I want to grow passionfruit in my belly.